Mother’s Day is tomorrow and it has been a somber day for me since my mother passed in 1999. I never expected to live to an age older than she made it because she was so vibrant and somehow managed a smile for those in need.
Well today I woke up to see a dusting of snow on the ground, yes in May! This is the third time I recall this happening in my 51 years and I think this year is the worst. As I was walking my dog, with my mask on and wearing a Winter parka, I thought about tomorrow and how that makes me feel. Then it occurred to me that there isn’t really much to look forward to either.
The original plans were this time next month, I would be heading to Tennessee for sun, hiking, and then Bonnaroo and 4 days music and good vibes. I would leave there and head to Virginia for some beach and the 4 more days of music at Lockn’. Then come home to see Dead & Co. at Saratoga Performing Arts Center to end June.
So far, I have been reimbursed for 5 shows that have passed and waiting on refunds from several others. Sure, my bank account looks the best it has in a while, but live music is my escape from reality. It helps me remember the times I sat there talking to my mother at the kitchen table telling her about the shows and the people. It makes me forget that people can be people. It allows me to feel peace within for a short period of time and to breathe.
2020 has been nothing more than my volunteer work at the VA Hospital, which don’t get me wrong, I love doing and won’t stop as Vets still need the service despite this pandemic and sitting around the house working on some projects and sleeping. I see no break in my future; I see no “reset” in the future; I see nothing in the future!
Mother’s Day will be spent at the laundromat with my headphones on thinking about how much I miss my mother and all that I shared with my best friend with nothing to look forward to for an unknown period of time.
People, cherish your moments with your loved ones!
Minding my mind 