There is no denying that I am not an optimistic person so if you are reading this and think it may inspire you. Stop now!
I try to see the light at the end of the tunnel as they say we should. However, I look at the tunnel and only focus on long I’ve been in it, wonder why there is nothing interesting to see on the way, and why the hell am I in this tunnel?
2020, I really wanted to start out a little different. As 2019 wrapped up, I lost some good friends and hit some bumps of my own so I was really looking forward to that “clean slate” that a new year brings. Well it didn’t happen, as I lost more friends and endured more physical pain along with the emotional.
Then COVID-19 starts and as soon as I hear about it hitting China, I spring into action. I load up all the vans for the DAV with disinfectant spray, gloves, hand sanitizer, and masks. The coordinators mostly ignore me and the drivers think I’m overreacting and what do you know. The US and the world are hit with a pandemic. Luckily, I’m stocked and we are ready to rock!
Then they determine that 65+ volunteers need to stay home. Ok, I can’t disagree with that because I don’t want any of my drivers to get infected. However, now I’m left with less than two dozen drivers in 14 counties. After asking them who is willing to do, I am down to 13 and a few stating if you really need me or are in a pinch. Luckily, they start cancelling appointments that aren’t “necessary” face to face and can be done over the phone. This suddenly becomes manageable.
At first it was nice to have my two offices filled with volunteers empty and just me. Going on 8 weeks later, I’m talking to myself standing, looking at the walls. I am getting a lot accomplished with things that have taken to the bottom of the to do list, but I don’t want to do it all alone. What is the sense in having a team, if it’s only my input. The coordinators share their opinions from time to time but mostly they are on “vacation” and can’t be bothered.
The drivers are being outstanding. They are asking when they can come back, how much longer and if they can just drive and not record it. I can’t believe the dedication these men and women have. Honestly, if it weren’t for them. I would just pack up my stuff and come home to sleep until this was over with.
It really hurts when I see people I know struggling with family and/or friends dealing with infected loved ones. Then you have those denying it’s real or it’s potentiality of harm. I go to the store and I can’t see people’s face, but I see the hurt in their eyes. Despair, desperation, and sadness flowing from a blank stare as they move along seeking the scattered items on the shelves for that last can of Lysol.
Each day the reality that Summer hasn’t begun, yet knowing it’s over. Family gatherings, dating, happy hours are all now being done via tele-video apps. Birthdays and other celebrations are done with drive-bys. Beeping and yelling out windows because you don’t want to infect, or get infected by your loved ones.
However, with all this sadness, I do enjoy reading the articles about the Earth healing. Mother Earth is reclaiming some of her glory and allowing species to explore areas they haven’t enjoyed in decades. The skies are breathing a fresh, clear breeze, the oceanways are clearing, the animals are roaming and enjoying privacy. Nature is winning! I’m ok with that.
Minding my mind 