Thoughts

I know there is science backing this, but I really am frustrated about the thoughts running through my head the moment I lay down at night and no idea what, or how to express any of it when it comes time to sit here.

Last weekend was MMV’s 45 birthday and I sent her a bday text, with no thank you. I get that we are on a break and she wants space, but WTF, she couldn’t thank me? In two day is Valentine’s Day and even though I had made plans a couple of months ago, I did cancel them since I knew we wouldn’t be doing anything together yet. I had hoped, at least, we would be conversing some by now. How long is enough? How long is too long? I don’t want to give up and close the chapter then have her try to reopen it. I know myself, once it’s closed, there is no going back.

The walls are already starting to rebuild, and I don’t know how long I can hold off. Then add all of this fucking bitter cold and snow, I just want to huddle up in my bed and stay there until I know Spring has arrived and here to stay. I have been consistent with the gym though, because we all know what sitting at home too much will do to your mind.

Well, I wrote something! Better than putting it off for another day after forgetting everything I will remember to think about around midnight.