Death

I am in Connecticut this weekend for a funeral. This woman was part of my “extended” family. When we moved into our, I was 11 months old and the neighbors two homes down welcomed us to the area. They had a son, that was about to turn 2 one day after my 1st bday. Coincidentally, the next sibling was 1.5 years older than my next, the one after that was the same age as my next sister and the eldest was the same age as my brother.

Fifty years later, we are still family and last week the 66 yr old (eldest sister) passed away and here I am 4.5 hours from home in a hotel with my “extended” family. While the passing of someone is tragic, I find it’s the best time to put your own life in perspective. I often say, the older you get, the more people you are going to lose.

I think this is something I learned early on and if anything, it’s helped me avoid getting attached to anyone. In the back of my mind, whenever I think about dating or marriage or even someone to enter my life. I immediately revert to the thought of one of us being left alone after the other leaves. Whether it be by death or just moving on without you.

I guess I have set myself up a life of solitude because at 51, I don’t think it’s mindset that is possible to reverse.