This last decade was probably one of the roughest I have had to deal with in my four on this Earth. I can’t say that my life hasn’t had challenges but some of the ones in this last ten years have been life-altering.
My lower back has given me issues since I was discharged for complications with it from the Marines in 1991. I kept active and tried to keep a strong core for as long as I could to avoid it getting worse and/or debilitating. Well in 2010, the discs with the help of students, began herniating. First in September 2010 with one and a couple bulging more so than previously and then again in March 2012 with another herniation and a torn rotator cuff.
This is where the altering of everyday life took a drastic turn! I started missing more work and spent many hours in PT, on ice, getting nerve blocks, and seeing doctors/chiropractor. These all helped in their own way but my activity level dropped to nearly nothing and my depression went from mild to extreme. To add, with my father in the nursing home, I was not able to keep in constant contact with them regarding his care since he had been victim to many cases of neglect. I felt as if I was constantly letting him down by not visiting more regularly and allowing the facilities to not give him the care any person deserves.
In 2011, I had also detached my achilles tendon from my heel which oddly enough sounds like a pistol as it pops off. With that surgery in the past, I had to have my shoulder repaired. At this point, I was doing all I could to avoid any more surgeries and luckily have been able to maintain that goal. I continue to receive nerve blocks in my lower back and they keep my pain level low enough to function.
In 2013, I was able to attend EBV. It’s an entrepreneur bootcamp for disabled Vets offered through SU. I had planned to start a wellness center for low-income people and Vets offering alternative, holistic treatments. However, financiers didn’t see me making millions, or themselves and I could not get it funded. I was at a low point and had pretty much given up when I started hanging out with a great group of people connected by a goal of making the world 10% better. The Chive with the motto so many know Keep Calm and Chive On! I was familiar with the charity work they did and found out they branched off into state chapters. The NY chapter coincidentally was based in Syracuse and it was a blast while it lasted. We raised a lot of money for some great causes through parties. I was even able to influence one NYE event to donate to ClearPath for Veterans and the rep from that group met his current wife at it. However, as cliques go the people flocked to their favorites and it mostly died off in 2017. Not totally, we are still a “group” but sadly the events lost steam and most gatherings now are just random meetings. Given my personality, anxiety, and mindset I rarely see many of them. I do though hang out with some that I developed a good friendship with.
In 2015, my father passed and it was at a time that I was finally starting to understand him and appreciate him for who he was and not what I thought he was all these years. I took my first serious road trip and visited his brother in Florida, friends in the South and saw some places I had forgotten about and some I never thought I would see.
The Chive and another charity that was “partnered” with them called 315K for the Cure was what happened in 2016. I was driving to Utica, NY for the event in its third year and I was t-boned by a young lady playing with her and driving through a red blinking light. Not only was that the end of my SAAB, concert security gig and small amount of activity I had it had caused nine more discs to herniate (4 cervical, 4 thoracic. and now 4 lumbar. Also displaced vertebrae, tore the labrum in my right hip and a tear in my right rotator cuff. I had bleeding in my right kidney and continuously have pain in my right side. To add to my lower back nerve blocks, I now get them for my neck and was forced to have carpal tunnel surgery in both wrists because the nerve was causing a reaction and weakness in my hands. I am scheduling a replacement for my right hip and to repair the rotator some time in 2020.
Through all of this, I have tried to keep from going to far in my head. I was “retired” due to my medical ailments and inability to sit/stand long. This is my fifth return to typing this! I have been able to volunteer with organizations dear to me. Clearpath, DAR, Carol Baldwin Breast Cancer Research and the DAV Volunteer Transportation Network are the main ones that I have helped with. The DAV is my primary as I am what they call the Hospital Service Coordinator. I oversee the 14-county catchment area, 200+ volunteers, and 40 vans. We are responsible for picking up Veterans at their home, taking them to their VA medical appointments and then returning them home. I really enjoy it and it keeps me humble. I see so many Veterans in far worse shape than I am and knowing that I am able to make sure they are getting to their appointments makes it worthwhile, even if it gives me pain to get through the few hours I’m there.
So 2019, with all that has happened I am still here. After fluctuating weights from 230 to 300 then up and down again and again, constant pain, loss of a father, some close friends, family, and a few fur babies; I am still waking up each day to face whatever life brings my way. I don’t think I will ever see a day without pain physically or emotionally but each day gives me another opportunity to deal with it better than the last. I wish you good riddance decade of challenge!
2020, I am positive there will be challenges ahead and while I don’t know what you have in store for me, I really don’t think you can do worse! So let’s make the best of this, ok?
Minding my mind 